Dirt Roads ~ High Heels: Nursing School~Blood, Sweat, Tears...Coffee and a Few Beers

I am not sure what was harder...going back to school after being out for almost 2 decades or the fact I wanted to go back to study nursing. Nursing wasn't even on my mind until a friend of mine started working at a local Hospital and told me to join her, that I would love it! I was getting a bit burnt out of my current career and was feeling the need to do something more to help people. Why not I thought? What's scary about leaving a good job, decent salary, 4 days a week or knowing it wasn't going anywhere? Everything!! But I did it! I applied for a Clinical Associate position, got the job, gave my old job a 5 week notice and in February of 2014 I started a whole new path! One year later, I knew I wanted to apply for Nursing School and fortunately I was accepted my first time around.

Happy tears as I read that letter stating that I made it in! It was a small chance even with a good GPA because I didn't live in the county the school is located in and they only accept about 10% of us outsiders...call me lucky! I also applied for an Endowment Scholarship that could possibly pay my entire tuition for the first year...guess what? I got it. Not only had a left decent paying job, I was going to be working part-time and going through school...and students at my age still have bills so this scholarship was something I needed! It was a relief for sure! I knew the next two years would be hard...studying, financially, giving up things I had been used to for so long but the end result would be worth it, right?

I am now entering my last 8 weeks, where has the time gone? I remember the first day of class, I remember what I wore and I remember how scared shitless I was. My life has taken some major turns and this one, although a positive step, made me question if what I was doing was the right thing. What if I fail? That has crossed my mind so many times...I wouldn't say I am a negative person but I have seen it happen, I was trying to be real with myself. I'm not sure I should use the word fail, I am very strong headed and usually strive for and achieve my goals, but I knew this was going to be one of the hardest challenges to date.

First semester, not too bad, passed with a B. I had to tell myself, "Shona, it's ok to not be an A student". Second semester, sucked ass, literally. It was so hard. I was actually failing Pathology until the very last test, which would determine passing this class. However, this was a class I could retake and still move on, but who wants to do that? Fortunately I passed, with a C, but hey it beat having to re-do. I wanted to flush that semester down the toilet and I did too. Third semester, cake walk, literally. Spoiled for sure...I had the nursing course and Pharmacology and ended the semester with a B and an A which I needed after that damn C in second semester. Fourth semester, first 8 weeks. Scared.out.of.my.mind. Three tests, your average has to be a 76% to pass. So basically I needed to do well on the first test to have some cushion. The way I looked at it, if you F up on the first test, you are playing catch up on the last two...I did not want to deal with that. Last Thursday, I took my final test of the first 8 weeks and ended the class with a solid B. I can breathe again.

My last 8 weeks are soon approaching and I as prepare for my pinning ceremony in May, I can finally see the end. I now know that I am going to successfully complete Nursing school and start working as an RN, upon passing my NCLEX, this summer. But here's the thing, now I finally feel confident that I will pass both the last 8 weeks and the NCLEX, which is a whole different test taken after you graduate. Before now, entering every semester, I was scared to death and many times doubted myself through this process. Thankfully, I have had amazing support from friends, family, and the BF...who has seen me through 3 whole semesters! I have cried, laughed, rolled my eyes...a lot, and felt fear. Encouraging words have definitely helped me through and maybe a few times, hugs...sometimes hugs help too. I am so grateful for everyone who has stood beside me. Did I mention, I have had the BEST study group....and since First Semester!

So, as I write this over what appears to be my last official "spring break" as a student, I am ready to begin this new path of helping others more than I already am. It's time to give up the royal blue scrubs and start wearing navy and white!!